Stressful meeting …

Greetings and welcome back to Stressville. More in a ‘mo.

The good news is that my ‘pay check’ (pension) has been paid in to the bank – hurrah!  Nervously I looked at the figure to confirm that my tax had been reduced and the pension had risen in line with inflation …. nope, same as last month.  That’s a shame.

I finally sorted out the blog though I have lost previously posted rubbish.  How, you might ask, do I ‘lose’ post?  If you use Blogger’s built in, online, editor (as I understand it), there’s no option to backup – OK, that’s not entirely true – but it’s a complicated procedure.  To create the daily rubbish, I use a free prog / editor (Windows LiveWriter), which, thankfully, has seen made available a number of add-on and freestanding utility progs that make using LiveWriter that bit easier.  One of these allows you to backup your blog – OK, OK, I will try harder in future.

The big event of today has been the meeting with #3.  The Elder went out with The Dog.  #3 was wary – I didn’t work from any list.  I just explained how I felt and invited her to respond.  There was no response (my, but is she wound up).  I presented individual concerns e.g. using the shower in the early hours of the morning, not helping in the house and various other concerns.  I told her the truth, quietly, firmly and fairly – I had both her & her Mother’s welfare in mind, I really couldn’t do any more and even though she made my life so difficult / hurt me so much, I told her that I loved her and wouldn’t see her disadvantaged.  there was a hint of a tear, from her, but she resisted.

In the end I, sadly, had to spell out my ‘demands’ and, pending my writing them up, she has until Monday, next week, before they ‘kick in’.  I told her that I would be watching her very closely, though discreetly, and if we had to have a similar ‘hard, volatile discussion (in 5 weeks) then I would simply ask her to leave (1 month’s notice).

I thanked her for attending, asked, several times, if she had anything to which she needed to respond / introduce and she declined.  I made my notes of what was discussed, times and so on – not quite PACE but it wasn’t far off.

Otherwise it’s been a cold day, I worry about feeling so cold when others don’t appear to have a problem.  The Dog is well, The Elder appears to be OK (but you can never tell) and #3 has gone back to her bedroom.  Best keep an eye on her – I don’t want her doing anything silly …. sigh ….

Technorati Tags: Stress,divorce,PACE

Chop and change …

Hi and welcome back – I am overwhelmingly gutted …

Yesterday I thought, as you do, that I would ‘tidy up’ the blog – the result was a disaster (as you now know).  I have managed to recover a few posts but at some considerable sacrifice.  Won’t bore you with the detail but these are the end results – in future:

• The blog will only display the seven most recent posts (blog updates / uploads)
• There is no option, on the bottom of the blog page, to click on ‘older posts’
• There is no archive facility
• The future content will not include reference to the recent US trip
• The future content will be less ‘critical’ of my ‘family’ members
• The future content will focus more on what’s happening with myself / the house
• Your option to comment remains and your doing so is gratefully appreciated
• That’s about it

FYI I still have practically all the previous uploads but there’s a lot of work required involving the same being re-posted – I might get round to it at some time – mainly to keep the blog ‘complete’ and, there again, I might not.  Finally, no, there has not been a dramatic or other ‘incident’ involving WBG or anyone else and, in all other respects, nothing else has changed. Enjoy!

OK, back to the trivia – newest rubbish first -

Joking aside for a moment - This morning I attended the funeral of a member of The Organisation (the local organisation rather than the ‘branch’ where I am ‘Past Chair’) – the church was packed and he would have been very pleased with the number attending.  It was all very moving – the church was 17th century and, I suspect, the vicar would be pleased to have a congregation 25% of the number attending today.  The hymns were sung and I was too choked to sing – I was very upset (sorry – my eyes are watering over even as I type this).  ‘Memories’ were presented, to the congregation, by two teenage grandchildren and I don’t think there was a dry eye in the place as they both, bravely, sought to do their bit – both, subsequently, breaking down in tears. The vicar was wonderful – we all smiled, wept and stood with head bowed as he bade farewell, in the most sincere way I have ever witnessed, to my friend. Of course it all came to an end the family departed with the deceased for a private committal. I drove back to CS. 

The Elder is unwell, as you know, and has had to attend the doc – it’s not clear what the ‘problem’ is – a lot of stomach pain – maybe it’s an ulcer? (maybe not ….).

Yesterday I attended the annual meeting of an organisation (another organisation!!), to which I belong.  It was well attended and I stayed for the luncheon dinner – it wasn’t cheap (£20).  I started with soup – it was supposed to be leek and something – it was so bland!  I suspect it had been made from cooked unserved / uneaten vegetables that had been put through a blender (I think I made a similar comment this time last year – but you’ll have to take my word for it).  The main course was roast beef – actually it wasn’t bad except the accompanying vegetables were cold and, so a number of us thought, undercooked.  The ‘sweet’ was simply cheese & biscuits and was the best part of the meal. I was bought a pint of beer - £3.00 (!!!!). Anyhoo, it was good to get dressed up, suit and tie – you can only imagine, and mix with other people.  Back to CS, quite relaxed, only to mess up the blog and, subsequently, access to my online bank – what next, I asked myself?  That was to appear on the next day (Monday – today), though, thankfully, only ‘involved’ me on the outside.

Back to today – it’s been quite a stressful weekend.  I think I need another holiday.

Disaster(s) …

Disaster ..... I have, on the back of ‘that sounds like a good idea’,  edited the ‘Labels’ (on the right of the blog) – in a nutshell I selected ALL posts, accessed the Label menu, clicked delete and ... the published posts, not the bloody labels, started to be deleted, most recent first right in front of my eyes .... words fail me. I pressed Backspace, Escape ANYTHING! but the machine was up and running though it, eventually, stopped (around July 2008).

I have various back up files but it’s going take me some time to sort them out and republish and there might even be bits missing / or the dates incorrectly displayed – we’ll have to see – it could have been worse (I wouldn’t mind but I have software that will auto backup the blog … sigh…)..

OK, SEH, step back and think about something else like where’s the bloody mulled crappo when you need it? (Aaaaahhhh!!! Found it.)

I know! Do something different - go online and check my bank balance – it changes early on a Sunday – the results, if my ‘pension’ has been paid in should cheer me up. I logged on – entered all the numbers and – bugger – it locked me out!! I had to ‘phone the bank and get them to reset it all. Well, that’s two disasters .... I am off to bed before something else happens!

Stress? Do you get your share ..?

Speaking for myself, what a busy and eventful week, a lot of it quite stressful – guess it’s a common enough happening and maybe you had some of the same?  Anyhoo, welcome back … Where to begin?

In no particular order … the weather has been bitterly cold and I struggle at these low temperatures – it’s quite worrying – my hands, especially my right hand, goes a distinct darker, blue colour – why not my right hand?  Maybe it’s the pills – who knows?

Wednesday evening it was, with a deep reluctance, to the regular meeting of The Organisation.  I am the Immediate ‘Past Chair’ – a role that ends in a couple of months – it cannot come soon enough.  I have, somehow, resisted walking away from the place (before my ‘year’ is up) though it’s been a great challenge.  As soon as the meeting ends, as everyone drifts over to the buffet / drinks, I am walking out, putting my coat on, as I go.  Hate the place.

The Elder?  She rang work (Thus) and ‘went sick’ – with serious stomach ache and nausea – I also suffered the nausea (though only after The Elder had, throughout the day, visited the bathroom), though she recovered by Friday, going in to work only to be sent home in the afternoon.  I think she has a doc’s appointment next week – she doesn’t tell me even though I ask.

The big problem is #3. Thanks to Mel for your comment – they say truth hurts (as it did).  I spoke with The Elder yesterday evening and asked if she would be present, today @ 1600, as I needed to speak with #3?  The Elder ‘flew off the handle’ and all the old, defensive, sticking up (and more) for #3 came hurtling my way.  The Elder quickly realised that my meeting #3 wasn’t going to be to talk about the weather and she promptly became ultra defensive of everything that #3 does – providing quite valid (she probably thought) good reason.  I was having none of it and held my ground – well, not strictly true – as the tension built up your very own SEH started feeling unwell with chest pains …. mmmm!  Time to thin out and breathe deeply!  Anyhoo, calm, of sorts, returned and the meeting, with #3, is now arranged for Tuesday @ 1600 – you’ll have to wait until then to learn what my instructions will be.

All the previous, of course, assuming I get to Tuesday – Friday afternoon saw me attending the dentist for a regular check up – no work required – hurrah.  That’s no work for the last twelve months – cost in premiums for the last 12 months (remember ‘no work’ required = £456 ($650 or so) – if I was being treated as a state (National Health Service) patient, the cost would have been about £20. The dentist will only provide ‘private’ treatment (as all the other dentists are doing).  I was a bit concerned about a couple of front, bottom teeth, being of the view that they could do to be built up a bit – the dentist, in a Friday afternoon good mood & rejecting my query, told me that I would take the teeth to the grave with me – honestly!!!  I didn’t know whether to be pleased or not!!  I asked him if there was something that he wasn’t telling me – of course not & I wandered out into the spring afternoon where I promptly felt the cold wind whistling round my nadgers (just thought you might want to know that).

Out tomorrow to a lunch time function and a busy day Monday, which starts with me attending a funeral – it not being my funeral, hopefully I will be coming back from the said, solemn function.

Ouch …

Hi and welcome back – a fine day only spoilt by my stumbling about like a drunken Quasimodo – it’s no good, I have stopped fighting – it’s a visit to the doc’s.  Having ‘phoned and explained the intense pain / discomfort plus an uncertainty about which pain killers to take (with the heart pills), the receptionist advised me that the doc would see me …. on Friday…. huh?  Hey, this the NHS – you wanna be seen sooner buddy?  OK, get your credit card out…. I am, as ever, being mischievous. 

‘Pre booked’ telephone appointments are filled by allocating pre-arranged slots from the diary.  If, however, you ‘phone first thing in the morning or, ideally, stumble there in person, you should be given an appointment, from the ‘pool’ of first come –first served ‘slots’ for that day. 

It’s all to do with (non payers, like me) making appointments and then failing to turn up.  If it’s serious you call out the doc. emergency services or get yourself to A & E at the hospital.  Otherwise, you book, as I have, or go there first thing and ‘grab’ one of the vacancies for the day.  The Elder has said that she will go, first thing, and do whatever.

Many thanks to VofT for the comment, Mel for the joke (I liked it!!) and WBG for the corrections to my timetable of events – hey!  I missed out two trips to the park after the Romeo ‘meal’.  More tomorrow ….

My back, hips and shoulders are making getting up, standing and moving around very uncomfortable.  I acknowledge, in advance, your sympathy & concern – don’t worry!  It’ll come and go.  On the subject of go(ing), I am away to my bed.

BFN

Lots of stiffness …

Hi and welcome back.  Thanks to Mel and VofT for your respective input.  Always appreciated.

Not a good day – I was up and about, to The Dog’s delight, at about 0300 – rolling over in bed was an ordeal – the pain, well established in my hip, lower back and shoulder (all on the right) is something I wouldn’t wish on just about anyone.  It was back to bed at about 0500 – The Dog had beaten me to it and was hidden, under the duvet, slap bang in the middle of the bed.  Rather than wake him I, somehow, slithered into bed and (if you must know), lay there, on my back, my legs wide open with a dog in between – honestly it was like a scene from a horror film (movie).  If I had to call for help I would be found with a black mass, of a not particularly attractive form, between my legs.  The Dog, for it would be to whom I refer, is very deaf and would not hear my cries for help – oh the shame, should it happen.  Let’s move on.

Being laid up I have had limited opportunity to get anything done today.  I revisited the site at the Dallas Arboretum – if ever you are in the area I really recommend that you visit.  It’s a very attractive, refreshing and peaceful environment (well it was when WBG and myself attended) – well worth a day out.  As time (pain) allowed I have, inevitably messed around with the blog.  You might have visited earlier and seen a short vid of the fish and chips (mentioned yesterday)?  I have identified how short vids might be uploaded to Google and then added to the blog – it’s all very clever.  I might make short vids and post them, not necessarily at this time but on my next visit to the US (in the summer). Don’t get stressed if you cannot see the vid – I have removed it.

I did find vids of Romeo’s Italian place and I was going to include extracts on the blog.  However, I wouldn’t want to cause friction with the owner of the vid.  Here’s a vid if you really must see it – all rights acknowledged. Have a look, if you must, at the outdoor seating – well, that’s where we were – getting chilly willy by the minute. Incidentally neither WBG or myself are, thankfully, in the vid.

I was going to tell you about the trip to San Antonio but that will have to wait for the moment – maybe tomorrow.  I need a hot soak or skilful manipulation of my locked up body – any interested specialists (or not!) should apply real soon!

Technorati Tags: Romeo's Austin,locked up body,sleep

So long JR …

Continuing the saga of SEH’s life …

Another cold day – surfacing, somehow, @ 0500, the day followed the usual routine.  Unusually, from about 0700, I sat down to read a book - ‘Brilliantly written and bitingly funny, Tom Sharpe's indefatigable hero is pitted against the vices of an aristocratic pervert, the merciless greed of a politician's wife and the seedy underbelly of Britain's medical facilities, deftly exposing the farcical realities of small-town England and America.’

I have read this and all other books by Tom Sharpe – he is cynical to the extreme - (a bit rude too!) – here’s a link to chapter 1. As the early morning minutes ticked away, with myself sprawled on the settee (underneath a quilt -  a dog for company), I fell asleep. Must be the late night, last night.  Anyhoo, let’s get on with the trivia.

The weather has been bitterly cold – I am, now, aware that the meds cause various symptoms – frequent micturition and very cold hands (and feet).  The cold weather just finishes me – oh to be in sunny Texas where, I understand, the temperature hits 100’ and the mozzies bite.

The biggest problem today has been the sorting of my bank account – it’s an online account and the CS people work Sunday.  What with memorable name, 2nd and 4th character, account number and so on I started to lose it.  It was, eventually, all sorted out and I managed to get out with The Dog – as far as my car, that is.  The heavens opened and we drove to our ‘walk’ with the rain lashing down.  All was not lost and I managed to make a useful ‘phone call.  Then, wonderful!, the sun came out. the ‘phone call ended and off we trotted.  A mile from the car the rain came back – with a vengeance. We got back to the car, drenched, and returned back to CS.

The ‘house rule’, one of them, with #3 is that there will be no cooking after 2100 – she has agreed to this. Having been in bed – all day – she surfaced at about 1800 and, in her room, watched TV until about 2105.  Only then did she come downstairs & start cooking.  My polite asking why this was happening resulted in her answering back ‘you were in the kitchen’ – as indeed I was – until 2005.  The Elder, also spending most of the day in her bedroom (except when #2 called for her – more in a mo’) – shouted from her bed, to #3, ‘turn it all off – just leave it’.  Why, please, God, tell me…., why does she have to intervene when I try to sort issues out with #3?  #3 knows that The Elder will ‘stick up for her’, doesn’t answer me and, I am sure, enjoys her Mother getting involved and the subsequent falling out / heated discussion.  I really struggle coping with this and it gets me down. On the subject of #2, she arrived and, later, went out with her Mother, The Elder. OK, I was out anyway, but (they having subsequently gone out), when The Elder returned she was ‘pogged’ and told me that she wouldn’t be wanting a Sunday dinner – oh.  This isn’t a problem but what saddened me is that I didn’t form part of #2 plan (to join them for the meal – hell, I would have paid for it all).  Nope, SEH -stop being so sensitive.

Anyhoo, here’s a quickie about the vacation -

Day #2, Bedford, near Dallas, SEH is still jet lagged but improving.  Checking out was due by 1200 so it was a last minute breakfast (much the same as yesterday – though I steered well clear of the waffle machine), packing up and off we went – wherever that happened to be.  Goodbye Dallas – I never saw JR - hope he wasn’t disappointed.  What I did see, however, was the large number of ‘cowboy’ hats – oh yes – this will require further investigation.  The journey south was to Austin (so I was advised) – it was still all a bit much to take in.  We stopped to fill up and I could almost weep – 15 gallons or so – maybe $27 to fill up.  That’s about £18.  In the UK 15 gallons would be about £75 maybe $107 US - $80 difference!! How would you feel if you had to spend that amount twice a month or so? The other thing that caught my eye was the frequent use of ‘billboards’ on the side of the road / freeway / highway (or whatever).  Wouldn’t be allowed in the UK – planning regulations – ‘detrimental to the amenities of the neighbourhood’. Hey! I saw my first State Trooper (as we, sticking to the speed limit, passed him by). The miles ticked away and soon we were approaching Austin. Lots to do tomorrow (weekend) but first it was to the hotel.  I am struggling (the old grey matter isn’t what it was), to remember where we went for dinner.  I think it was this Italian place – the food was not good and quite expensive (compared to what we had already spent / would subsequently be spending). We were sat outside, it was cool and we were both tired.  No problemo, we ate, drank the iced tea, shivered and, afterwards, we sat and talked. The meal still bugs me – I think I chose lasagne – never before have I had lasagne with sliced sausage as the meat content – it was almost a layer of pasta, a ‘use up those sausages in this’ all covered with a tomhayto (sorry – couldn’t resist!), tomato sauce. No, it wasn’t the best meal that we have eaten and came nowhere when compared to Chili’s. Tomorrow I wanted to get my teeth into the world famous Texan steak – but that would be in the evening – I might be wrong – it could have been a meal at a buffet place (Chinese – I think) – it doesn’t really matter.  I was in good company and the feeling, of someone (special) treating me with affection, love and care was taking quite a bit of getting used to (after such a long break). Let’s see what happens tomorrow (Sunday – I think).

Technorati Tags: Airmiles,bank problems,stress,cowboy,JR Ewing,gas

Meeting …

This blog post is dedicated to just one item …

You will recall, from previously, I was standing, waiting @ Dallas Fort Worth Intnl. I was apprehensive, WBG had been delayed and I was desperate to visit the men’s room (but didn’t – just my luck that WBG would turn up whilst I was otherwise engaged). So, there I was, near a column, near the entrance to the airport (terminal D I think it was).  I knew WBG was en-route and my heart was thumping.  Then I heard a woman’s voice – the voice was soft, gentle, cautious and aimed at me! The voice, in a gentle, questioning way, simply said my name – I turned round and there was WBG. 

I am sure we had both, privately, rehearsed what we would say, what we would do, shake hands? – who knows.  What happened? Simply, without anything being said, we reached out and our arms went around each other, we drew each other close and held each other, gently, affectionately, very closely, we looked into each other’s eyes and we kissed.  The kiss was a long, sensitive and lingering kiss.  We could feel our lips pressing against each other’s lips and there was a sense of joy at being together – it was a very emotional moment.  We separated (to draw breath) and, once again, we looked at each other. ‘Hello’, said I, ‘Hello’ replied WBG and we both smiled.  There was no nervous, hesitating, avoiding eye contact but, on the contrary, there was a feeling of mutual … what’s the word? I gently stroked her forehead, our arms, well, briefly, one of my arms, were still holding each other close.  It’s strange how they, almost naturally, ‘fell into place’ and we continued to hold each other close, our bodies pressed, confidently, naturally together. We kissed, again, our lips savouring the closeness that only a kiss by people that are in love enjoy.  Our eyes were closed and the world was quiet.  We held each other and then, with some embarrassment, I broke away - ‘I have to go to the men’s room’, I, blushingly, explained.  Leaving my case with WBG I, almost cross eyed by now, stumbled in to the men’s room where what had to be done was done – it’s amazing how much the bladder is able to hold!!  Suitably refreshed, with everything sorted out, I wandered back to the reception area – good news!! WBG was still there!!  WBG smiled and I smiled back, before she explained that, for her, the day had, also, been a long and stressful day and that she, mirroring myself, needed to go to the ladies room.  Off she went – here I am – five minutes after meeting WBG, I am on my own again – I jest, of course.

I was soon re-joined by WBG and, of course, we hugged and kissed again.  In fact, several ‘agains’ and then another couple of ‘agains’ for good measure. We both became aware that the remaining airport staff were observing all this with mild curiosity and we realised that it was time to make a move.  Leaving the airport, and not planning to return for about eight weeks, we wandered over the road separating the airport from the ‘huge’ car park.  Naturally, we held hands, but of course; with my suitcase wobbling on little wheels, we found the car – hey!  I was seriously impressed with the car!  Of course I had to quickly learn to access the ve-hicle (see learning Texan already!), via the nearside door. Once seated in the ve-hicle it was time for another sensitive, more lingering and passionate kiss – I could feel my blood pressure starting to misbehave. Calm down SEH!

We departed the car park – it must have been about 1800 or so – you have to remember that US time was six hours behind UK time so if I had been up since 0600 UK time and it was 1800 US time, my body was telling me that it was midnight UK time – hey! It’s been a long day thus far.  Off we went, I know not where, WBG confidently leading me to our venue for the next two nights. I couldn’t help but notice the width of the roads and the vast space that went as far as the eye could see.  I was so used to built up areas.  Also, I watched, with interest how US drivers behaved on the road, I do not refer to WBG (of course), who drove with considerable skill.  It was still all a bit much and my mind was in a whirl.

Once at the venue (I hope I have the correct picture!), we checked in – it was all remarkably simple and soon we found ourselves alone in our hotel room. What did we do? We hugged, caressed, kissed and cuddled. We were both absolutely shattered and we had so much to talk about. We had eaten nothing and time was pressing on.  Luckily WBG, as I quickly / pleasantly discovered, was an organised woman and very quickly we were tucking in to various savouries and then, oh yes, and then …..

And then we sat and talked and chatted and laughed and cried, held hands, hugged, kissed and chatted some more. The minutes ticked by and the hours quickly followed.  Soon, incredibly quickly, it was the early hours of the morning and this man was starting to sway and not think straight – he had been awake for about thirty hours.

We’ll leave it there, for the time being – an incredible day when two people that, separated by nearly 5000 miles, had, simply by being together, confirmed that they loved each other and that they were both very happy. As for myself, it has been a long time since I felt so secure and loved.  Suddenly there’s meaning to life, there’s so much to do & see and I was with a wonderful woman to make these aspirations become a reality.

It was a day that I will never, ever forget and it was a day that will always have a very special place in my heart.

Monday, Monday ….

Hi – it’s Monday evening – my, but it’s been a long day.  No post Sunday, I am sure that you noticed – the eagerly awaited post about my meeting with WBG will be published tomorrow. Oh yes.  Many thanks to those of you that have clicked to view and been disappointed – good things come to those that wait …

On a more cheerful note I found a freebie that allows you (me) to update the Twitter thingy – it’s free standing, isn’t connected to a web page and shows all the Twitters to which I am connected.  Entering a ‘Tweet’ (please! Spare me…), is easy – simply click on the desktop icon, log in (if not already logged in), and a small window pops up – here’s a pic. You can see that my previous ‘tweets’ are shown.  I ‘follow’ others and their ‘tweets’ would, also, be displayed.  I have chosen not to display these on this occasion.

Down at the bottom is a tweet that is ready to go.  I didn’t post it as it’s just an example for your interest (as if!). I am not sure what the other buttons do – the freebie add-on offers the option to work with other messaging software but I haven’t researched this.

Sunday – oh dear – a really bad day.  The Elder ‘revealed’, via '#2, that the keys for the garage (the main ‘up and over’ door) are missing.  As the garage is full of crap a la #3’s bedroom it makes little difference except that the door cannot be opened.  Maybe it’s all part of The Elder’s plan to ‘mess’ me about – she knows I want to clean out the garage.  The upshot of this is that the nastiness crept in and your very own SEH became slightly stressed (and uncomfortable).  Option?  The easy one – thin out and get to bed and that’s exactly what happened. 

Today? Round #2 – The Elder was up early (to go to the docs) – and, for that matter, I was also up early.  I had an appointment at the bank – they wanted to make sure I was using all the features provided – I was and, they ‘gently’, took the opportunity to encourage to borrow this, deposit that and transfer the other.  As a last resort, all else having failed, I was encouraged, un successfully, to take out my building insurance with them.  God! Let me out!!

The day has, otherwise, been cold culminating in my advising The Elder that, tomorrow, she will be receiving her ‘Notice To Quit’ – resulted in lots of hard, stony faced silence.

Technorati Tags: Divorce,Twitter,twhirl,stress